Decreasing Stigmatization around Surrogacy and Egg Donation

Surrogacy and egg donation have emerged as increasingly common methods of family-building in our rapidly evolving society. However, despite their growing recognition, these practices continue to face misconceptions and stigmatization. It is essential for us to come together and address these barriers, fostering a society that truly understands and embraces the beauty of surrogacy and egg donation. One encouraging trend is the increasing openness displayed by influential public figures such as Grimes and Elon Musk, Kanye West and Kim Kardashian, Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra, and numerous others. Their courage in openly sharing their personal experiences with surrogacy has played a pivotal role in normalizing these practices and sparking constructive conversations about them. However, it is important to note that surrogacy and egg donation are not limited to public figures alone. People from all walks of life are embracing these methods to fulfill their dreams of parenthood. By sharing knowledge, experiences, and stories from diverse perspectives, we can cultivate an environment that fosters empathy, understanding, and unwavering support for those involved in these extraordinary journeys that can break down common misconceptions. 

Breaking Some Common Misconceptions: 

• Surrogates are coerced or exploited: There is a misconception that surrogates are forced or exploited into carrying pregnancies. However, reputable surrogacy programs prioritize the well-being and consent of the surrogate. Surrogates go through thorough screening processes, and they enter into surrogacy arrangements voluntarily. They receive compensation for their time, effort, and any associated medical or pregnancy-related expenses. 

• All surrogates are financially desperate: Another common misconception is that all surrogates are financially desperate and choose surrogacy as a last resort. While financial considerations may play a role for some, many choose surrogacy out of a genuine desire to help others and make a positive impact on families facing infertility or other challenges. During the screening process, surrogate candidates are assessed for financial stability and support systems. Additionally, physical or virtual home visits are conducted to ensure they reside in a supportive environment suitable for a safe pregnancy.

• Surrogacy is solely for same-sex couples: While same-sex couples, particularly male couples, may require the assistance of a surrogate to have a biological child, surrogacy is not limited to them. In fact, 1 in 6 couples worldwide are facing infertility, and many heterosexual couples also turn to surrogacy to fulfill their dreams of building a family. Infertility has become a global pandemic, and surrogacy can be a viable option for heterosexual couples facing infertility issues or medical conditions that prevent pregnancy.  

• Surrogacy is a shortcut to parenthood: Surrogacy is not an easy or guaranteed path to parenthood. It is a complex process involving legal, medical, emotional, and financial considerations. Intended parents often face significant challenges and emotional hurdles during the surrogacy journey. Surrogacy should not be seen as a shortcut but rather as a viable option for those unable to conceive or carry a child.

• The surrogate will try to keep the baby: Another misconception is that the surrogate will try to keep the baby after birth. However, as part of the rigorous screening process, surrogates undergo a thorough psychological evaluation to assess their mental stability and ensure they have a full understanding of the journey they are about to embark on. All surrogates in the US are already mothers to their own children and typically choose to become surrogates after completing their own family, demonstrating their commitment and ability to separate their role as a surrogate from their personal desires. Surrogacy agreements are legally binding, establishing the rights and responsibilities of the intended parents and the surrogate, ensuring that the legal parentage is transferred to the intended parents upon the birth of the child. The surrogate has no legal claim to the baby, and the intended parents assume full parental rights and responsibilities according to the agreed-upon terms. Rest assured, the surrogate's primary goal is to help the intended parents fulfill their dreams of having a child, and the collaborative and legally binding nature of surrogacy ensures that the process is carried out with clarity, understanding, and respect for all parties involved.

In order to  decrease stigmatization surrounding surrogacy and egg donation, we believe more and more people should share their experiences and actively promote awareness and understanding. Sharing our personal stories might provide an opportunity for an open dialogue. By taking these actions, we can work towards creating a more inclusive and compassionate society that appreciates the positive impact and selflessness associated with surrogacy and egg donation.

Steps You Can Take to Decrease the Stigmatization: 

1. Extensive Education: Take the initiative to thoroughly educate yourself about surrogacy and egg donation. Seek information from reputable sources. Learn about the processes involved, legal considerations, and the positive impact these methods can have on individuals and families. By deepening your knowledge, you become better equipped to challenge misconceptions and actively participate in informed discussions. 

2. Language Matters: Be mindful of the language you use when discussing surrogacy and egg donation. Avoid perpetuating stigmatizing terms or judgmental attitudes. Instead, choose inclusive and respectful language that acknowledges the compassion and selflessness inherent in these choices. By using empowering and empathetic words, we contribute to a more positive and understanding narrative surrounding these practices.

3. Open Dialogue: Talk more frequently about the topic of surrogacy and egg donation. Initiate and encourage open discussions within your social circles, community, and online platforms. Create safe spaces where people can ask questions, share their thoughts, and express concerns without fear of judgment. Actively listen to different perspectives and respond with empathy and respect. By fostering open dialogue, we can dismantle stigmas, challenge preconceived notions, and promote greater understanding. 

4. Personal Stories and Media Representation: Seek out and share personal stories of individuals who have been involved in surrogacy and egg donation. These narratives humanize the experiences, highlighting the courage, compassion, and deep desire to help others. Additionally, advocate for accurate and positive media representation of surrogacy and egg donation, showcasing diverse stories and dispelling stereotypes. By increasing exposure to these narratives, we can combat stigmatization through empathy and understanding.

Conclusion: 

Reducing stigmatization is a gradual process that requires time, patience, and the collaboration of various stakeholders. By working together to promote understanding, empathy, and respect, we can help create a more inclusive and supportive environment for individuals considering or participating in surrogacy and egg donation.