Surrogates
Talking to Your Kids About Being a Surrogate
Talking to your children about surrogacy can feel like one of the toughest parts of the journey but it doesn’t have to be. With honesty, simple words, and plenty of reassurance, you can help your kids understand what surrogacy means and why you’ve chosen to help another family grow. Our guide shares six practical tips to make this important conversation easier, more loving, and empowering for everyone involved.
If you’re thinking about being a surrogate, one of the most important conversations you’ll have is with your own children. Explaining surrogacy to them can feel emotional and complex but with honesty, simplicity, and reassurance, it can become a powerful opportunity to teach empathy, kindness, and love.
1. Start the Conversation Early
It’s best to begin the conversation as soon as you’ve decided to pursue surrogacy ideally before medical appointments or treatments begin. Giving your children time to understand and ask questions early on helps them feel included and prepared for the journey ahead.
2. Use Simple, Age-Appropriate Language
Tailor your explanation based on your child’s age and developmental level.
For younger children, you might say:
“Some people can’t grow a baby in their tummy, so I’m helping them by growing their baby in mine.”
Make it clear that the baby isn’t joining your family, and that your role is to help another family grow.
3. Be Open to Questions and Feelings
Let your kids know that no question is off limits. They might be curious about how the baby got there, why the baby isn’t staying, or whether you’ll still love them the same. Be patient, listen actively, and answer in a way that reassures them of your love and presence.
4. Offer Reassurance and Emotional Security
Children, especially younger ones, may need reassurance that your love and attention won’t change. Emphasize that while you’re helping another family, they are and always will be your first priority. Your calm and confident attitude will help them feel safe and supported.
5. Involve Them (When Appropriate)
If you’re comfortable, let your children be part of the experience in small, meaningful ways like looking at pictures of the intended parents, talking about the baby, or even attending safe appointments with you. Seeing the joy their mom brings to another family can be a powerful life lesson.
6. Try Creative Tools: Books, Art, and Stories
Use children’s books about surrogacy or related topics to spark conversation. Encourage your child to draw pictures or tell stories about what’s happening. These activities can help them express thoughts and emotions they may not know how to verbalize.
✅ Quick Tips at a Glance
| Tip | What It Means |
| Start early | Talk before treatments begin |
| Keep it simple | Use clear, child-friendly words |
| Welcome questions | Encourage curiosity and expression |
| Reassure often | Emphasize stability, love, and safety |
| Include them | Let them observe the journey in age-appropriate ways |
| Get creative | Use books, drawings, or role play to support understanding |
In Summary
Talking to your kids about surrogacy isn’t always easy but it can be a beautiful opportunity to teach values like compassion, generosity, and family in all its forms. When you lead the conversation with honesty, love, and confidence, your children will not only understand they’ll be proud of the role you’re playing in helping others.
At Expecting.Ai, we’re here to support you and your family through every stage of the surrogacy journey including these important conversations at home.
