How To Choose the Right Egg Donor
Although an egg donor is a very personal choice, there are some criteria that can help intended parents narrow down their options
There is no manual that tells you exactly how to select the right egg donor because the process of choosing and the choice itself are very individual. Still, there are some criteria you might want to consider when you choose an egg donor.
1. Similar physical appearance
Many intended parents want to find a donor who shares some similar physical characteristics to themselves.
Although you can never predict what the child will eventually look like, many prospective parents want to increase the chances that he or she will appear to be genetically related to them and look for egg donors of similar ethnicity - such as Asian, African American and Hispanic - or with similar height, weight and skin, hair and eye color .
2. Specific physical appearance
On the other end of the scale, some intended parents look for a donor who they consider to be attractive but doesn't necessarily look like them. For them, since they already find themselves in a situation where they need to use an egg donor, they’d rather focus mainly on the physical traits.
3. Getting the full picture
Many agencies allow you to look at pictures of the donor as an adult and as a child, and some even provide videos of the donor.
Most agencies also list the donor’s hobbies and talents, for example if she likes sports or is a great cook, because there are intended parents with similar passions who want to increase the chances the child will share their interests.
4. Talents and education
Considering the education of the egg donor is something many intended parents do. You can choose a donor with high levels of education, or if you’re fine with any degree of education you can simply select a donor who went to college or is engaged in any type of schooling.
Normally, you will pay higher fees for donors from Ivy League universities or who are very talented in certain fields - arts, science etc.
Some intended parents prefer the donor to be of the same religion as theirs and most agencies and clinics can provide you with that information.
6. Open donor agreement
Some donors are happy to have some kind of a relationship with the family and child, though what that relationship looks like is very individual. This can be anything from meeting only once, before or after the birth, or having regular gatherings once a year or every few years.
If this is what you’re looking for, search for a donor who is interested in or open to an open donor arrangement.
7. Where to look for a donor
You can either use a known donor, meaning someone you know who is willing to be your egg donor, or do what most intended parents do and use a fertility clinic or agency, or a donor egg bank.
No matter what your budget, you might not be able to get everything you dreamed of, but that does not mean you cannot get what’s most important to you. Narrow down your list of characteristics to the ones that really matter to you and focus on them.
As we mentioned above, the donor selection process is very individual. Some prospective parents see a few options and choose a donor very quickly, while others review profiles for months. Allow yourself the time you need to choose the donor that feels right for you, but if it takes too long that might be a sign you still have feelings you are trying to work out. Since this is only the first step in a long process, try to be patient with yourself.
Ready to start your search? Gain access to a wide selection of egg donors from top agencies and clinics.