Open Egg & Sperm Donation: Identity, Medical History & Future Contact

Key points

• Considering open egg or sperm donation can feel like an emotional decision, especially after infertility.
• It offers key benefits, like genetic information and future connection.
• Reflect on your child’s future needs when making the decision.
• Open donation is becoming more common and widely accepted

For the purposes of this article, I will focus on open donors—those who are willing to be contacted in the future. Known donors (e.g., a friend or relative) introduce additional complexities, such as the relationship dynamics, the plans for potential contact with the child, and the reactions of friends and family.

Known donation is highly specific to each situation and requires careful psychological counseling and screening, based on the guidelines set by the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM). This article will not address known donor relationships, as they are more nuanced and variable.

In recent years, public figures such as Kerry Washington, who was conceived via donor sperm, and Camille Guaty, a mother through egg donation, have shared their personal stories. Their openness has helped diminish some of the shame historically associated with donor conception. By speaking out, these celebrities have provided visibility and support for those navigating similar journeys, showing that donor conception is a valid and valuable path to parenthood.

Why Donor Anonymity Can No Longer Be Guaranteed

Complete lifelong donor anonymity can no longer be guaranteed. Consumer DNA databases, genetic genealogy, social media and information shared by biological relatives can make genetic connections discoverable even when a donor program originally described the arrangement as anonymous or nonidentified. This does not mean every donor will inevitably be identified, but parents and donors should plan for that possibility.

Three Key Considerations When Choosing an Open Donor

1. The Relationship Between You and the Donor
   An open-ID or identity-release arrangement can preserve a pathway for future contact, but it does not guarantee a particular relationship or response. Ask the donor program exactly what “open,” “identity-release” or similar terminology means, at what age information may be released, what contact information is maintained and what happens if either party's preferences change.
   
2. Health and Medical History
   While donors are typically young and healthy, health can change over time. A donor who is healthy at the time of donation may experience significant health changes later in life. For example, a donor might one day develop cancer or another concerning illness. Other, less significant health issues may also be of interest to parents who wonder about their child's skin condition or need for glasses, for example. Having access to updated medical information can be important for your child’s health and provide you and your child’s healthcare provider with useful information.
   
3. Emotional Implications of Open Donation
   Choosing an open donor can also have significant emotional implications. Many parents feel grief and loss when turning to donor conception. For parents, particularly those struggling with infertility, the decision to use donor sperm or eggs can bring up emotional challenges and the idea of a connection with the donor can stir painful feelings. However, as time goes on, and the parent and child bond deepens, the pain typically lessens, and parents often begin to desire more information that could be important to their child down the road.

Final Thoughts

When embarking on the path of donor conception, many parents focus on immediate goals: becoming pregnant, achieving a healthy pregnancy, and bringing a child into the world. These are vital milestones, but it's also essential to consider the long-term implications of your choices. The decision to choose an open donor will have lasting consequences for both you and your child. Children may have varying levels of curiosity about their donor, and some may want to connect with their genetic roots. On my podcast, I’ve spoken with donor-conceived individuals who feel a desire to learn more about their donor, while others have little to no interest. It is impossible to predict your future child's level of interest but you can make the decision to provide them with the option.

Choosing an open donor is a long-term decision that affects not only the immediate experience of becoming a parent but also offers a possibility for ongoing medical information and a personal connection. While it may seem difficult to navigate these complexities, planning for the future can help you make a more informed decision that is in the best interest of both you and your child.

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